I've done it! I completed my first real week as a "teacher." I am starting to feel a sense of belonging in the classroom, but not quite in the front of it. It is strange entering a new environment and being thrown on stage and asked to perform. My CT is actually allowing me to ease into leading the class in whatever way I feel comfortable doing so which alleviates my anxiety. So far I have been an active part of class discussions, answering questions for the students, and helping with group work. I just get nervous when I am in the front of the room...all alone...crickets chirping. No, I do alright, but am unsure of myself and the kids can probably smell it on me.
Today I took some time to sit and reflect on the way I am feeling. I have discovered that my uneasiness rests on trying to find a balance. When I told my CT she said she was still in search of one (she has been teaching for 9 years!). My internal conflict is based on the desire, or need, to be myself in the classroom while still being the "authoritarian." I don't like that word. I just want my kids to come into my classroom and act like people, read a book, discuss it, question the universe, and leave to write some type of existential journal entry under a Willow tree. When you are finished laughing consider how strange it is to transition from teacher to student while simultaneously transitioning from college kid to working lady and trying to figure it all out before 130 miniature people eat you alive. It's weird, but I feel 68% confident after my first week, so by the middle of next week maybe I will be blowin' those kid's minds!
I brought home a lot of papers to read and grade this weekend. The students are studying elements of poetry and fiction so they had to write a story of their lives in accordance with the plot sequence of a story (exposition, initial incident, rising action...). They could begin making the story fictional after the rising action, as CT and I hope they have not reached the climax of their lives at age 14. It should be very interesting...I am sure that I will have much to write about after reading them all.
On a end note, I have changed my mind. Casual Friday rules.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
a chaotic quest for adulthood, careerism, and teacherfication
1 comment:
Celebration must ensue after this glorious first week! It's hard to see you being nervous, but I know exactly how you feel! I hope the papers you read will be far better than the ninth grade honors essays I read last night. I was shocked at how TERRIBLE they were! We had to sit back and laugh about them before deciding what to do about it.
You'll ease into things with grace, and I know the kids are going to really enjoy the time they get with you teaching the class. You have a huge heart and such great ideas. Just be yourself.
I hope you have a great weekend, and I hope to talk to you soon (there's so much to talk about I don't have enough time to write about it all!)
Post a Comment