In history, it seems, or history textbooks rather, that writers and publishers are afraid of placing blame. It is as if the Civil War just happened, slavery just happened...out of nowhere the black man became a possession; a piece of flare for the white man. There is something about merely presenting facts that makes it almost impossible for people to see emotions behind the movements and events in our history. I do not think that kids, when they have been conditioned into a life of memorization and objectivism, can infer that Abe Lincoln had a serious moral conflict by learning that he once owned slaves, but at some point freed his slaves. For some reason I don't think that it is important to those printers or publishers. Is discussing Thomas Jefferson's feelings going to get them more money, sell more books? Probably not. Oh well...skip it. It is as if facts can eliminate the human found within and terrible things simply happen just because they do. The understood villians such as Hitler get what's coming, but he must be a well-known villian to accept such blame.
This week has been yet another doozy. Life has hit me pretty hard, which is usually what happens when work seems pretty great. I was thinking yesterday on this idea that no one is to blame and no one wants to accept responsibility for anything that has failed or was not done well.
I was thinking in terms of splitting up with a partner: There are these different ways to express what happened, "split up," "left," "broken up."
Each of which carrying a totally different charge.
Split is equal, a mutual decision come to pass through a lot of deliberation.
Broken up, that seems adolescent. I hear my kids use this term often.
Left, I think this is when one person makes the choice to go. To take with them what was built and disappear.
The only one of the three that carries any weight, or blame, is left. Why, if one person chooses to go, should we say split.
When we are all responsible for writing our own history why should we be afraid to place blame? If we don't will we carry the burden of not remembering? Of allowing memory to mix with imagination and forgetting what was done and who was responsible? Of blaming ourselves for something we are not responsible for.
Sometimes the lessons that we are unaware we are learning as school children, such as the lesson of miraculous failures, transcends our youth to corrupt our adulthood. We are left with not knowing and a history that is tainted by imagination.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Lies My Teacher Told Me, James W. Loewen
Today in my class I recieved what is probably one of the biggest rewards that I could recieve. Class started and I asked for responses on the reading and got a variety of "it's too long" or "he kept repeating the same things." I then realized what I was up against and asked my students to challenge themselves to think of what good came out of the reading, what new things they learned.
Most of my students were blown away by how little they are actually taught in history class. Some were very angry and felt that they had been tricked, others didn't quite understand why things were hidden, some exlaimed "it's all about the white man!" If you have read this book, or studied history then you will understand why I saw humor in that statement.
There was one girl in particular though. Now, please keep in mind that this is the sixth day of school and only the fifth day of lessons. She was assigned the chapter "Gone with the Wind": The Invisibility of Racism in American History Textbooks (which was immediately followed by a chapter on the invisibility of antiracism in textbooks). She didn't seem all that moved by the chapter when she first got to class. The chapter highlights the history of racial oppression in our country and addresses how not teaching what is uncomfortable or difficult will get us nowhere. It addresses, like all other chapters, how certain people are chosen to be heroes and others hanged, certain people are crazy for supporting human beings, others celebrated. After class discussion, which was pretty heavy, the kids got into groups based on the chapters they read. I looked over at a this chapter's group: One white boy, two white girls, three black girls. All discussing race relations as a historical matter and what the implications are for the present and future. The girl, a young white girl, began crying while discussing the issues.
In a high school class...she cried.
Now, I am not celebrating making a child cry, that is not what I intend to do.
I do intend, however, to teach things of emotional value. To allow children to learn facts and make choices. She was affected in the same way that I was affected in a college class after learning a lot of information that I had never been privy to. It is a serious emotional experience. I can't believe that on the sixth day of school and after a weekend reading assignment she was moved that much.
Most of my students were blown away by how little they are actually taught in history class. Some were very angry and felt that they had been tricked, others didn't quite understand why things were hidden, some exlaimed "it's all about the white man!" If you have read this book, or studied history then you will understand why I saw humor in that statement.
There was one girl in particular though. Now, please keep in mind that this is the sixth day of school and only the fifth day of lessons. She was assigned the chapter "Gone with the Wind": The Invisibility of Racism in American History Textbooks (which was immediately followed by a chapter on the invisibility of antiracism in textbooks). She didn't seem all that moved by the chapter when she first got to class. The chapter highlights the history of racial oppression in our country and addresses how not teaching what is uncomfortable or difficult will get us nowhere. It addresses, like all other chapters, how certain people are chosen to be heroes and others hanged, certain people are crazy for supporting human beings, others celebrated. After class discussion, which was pretty heavy, the kids got into groups based on the chapters they read. I looked over at a this chapter's group: One white boy, two white girls, three black girls. All discussing race relations as a historical matter and what the implications are for the present and future. The girl, a young white girl, began crying while discussing the issues.
In a high school class...she cried.
Now, I am not celebrating making a child cry, that is not what I intend to do.
I do intend, however, to teach things of emotional value. To allow children to learn facts and make choices. She was affected in the same way that I was affected in a college class after learning a lot of information that I had never been privy to. It is a serious emotional experience. I can't believe that on the sixth day of school and after a weekend reading assignment she was moved that much.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Week in Review: Week One
Are high school students capable of breaking down the ideological constructs of right and wrong that they have all be trained to seek? Are high school students able to seek answers that don't have a right and a wrong? When will I never hear, "Ms. C, how long does this need to be?" or "What do you want us to write about?"
I hope so, yes. I think that with enough teaching and constant 'unlearning' of objective thought, then yes they may. It has been a struggle, but not one without rewards.
My students started the week trying to answer the question "What is History?"
Throughout the week I proceeded to burst their very literal ideas of what history and started by simply asking questions. Some responded to that question by saying, "History is a record of past events." The ones who had just come from their AP World History class were very excited to know the 'answer.' I simply said, "Oh, great. Who records it?" Throughout the week I then explained bias in news reporting (which aligned nicely with my journalism class), the process of hero-making, how sometimes imagination fills in the blanks when history must be recorded, and how sometimes the truth just doesn't align with what is understood as 'important' content to learn, so writers of history leave it out. We thought about what this means for us as learners and citizens, as people with a natural curiosity about life and students of society. I have, in some cases been blown away by responses that bring together the many different ideas we have discussed when prompted with a new question. These kids are using learned knowledge to gain perspective on a new idea. Those are the Truth seekers. Those are the independent learners who will succeed in my class. I have been a bit disappointed by those who are concerned with being "right" and realize that this is a habit I must help them unlearn while in my class. I have also experienced the tragedy that is socio-economic division in my school. Certain students are in my class, an upper level Honors class, because their parents feel that they are smart enough, some parents simply don't want their children in a classroom as diverse as (somehow) our regular level classes tend to be; by diverse I mean primarily black and Hispanic. I am now torn with students who are not at all equipped to be in my class (i.e. a student who said, "Ms. C, what is bias?" and another who mispronounced the word "politic" and didn't understand it) with the students who are rising to the occasion. I had a very concerned student see me after school to inform me that his schedule was going to be changed and he feared that he would not be able to take my class...he told me that "he didn't want to lose this class."
My Dilemma: lowering the lessons and reading material to a level so that the kids who don't belong in my class can understand would mean doing the children who can thrive and grow in a setting such as my class a disservice. Because my class is one that students make a choice to be in, this is not an option for me. So I am left with the knowledge that those kids will not be able to grasp (not because they are stupid, simply because their brains are not yet ready for the material we are covering) the very important concepts and questions I am asking them all to consider, thereby, doing a disservice to them as well.
I suppose a lesson will be learned by both parent and student. It is a shame that a student who could succeed in a regular-level education class must suffer because his/her parents refuse to believe that s/he should not be in a regular class for, as I see it, a variety of unjustifiable reasons. You see, at my school, kids can be waivered into upper level classed by parents, no test needed. My school is funded by the wealthy community members and must appease parents by allowing behavior such as this.
I have spent my weekend reading a book that my students are reading chapters from for homework called Lies My Teacher Told Me. This book offers many hot thinking points by making truths out of the misconceptions found in most high school history texts. I have learned a lot by reading the chapters and I hope my students firstly, did their homework and secondly, will be able to discuss these chapters through the eyes of mature readers and thinkers. I am asking a lot out of them. Hopefully they will continue to surprise me.
I hope so, yes. I think that with enough teaching and constant 'unlearning' of objective thought, then yes they may. It has been a struggle, but not one without rewards.
My students started the week trying to answer the question "What is History?"
Throughout the week I proceeded to burst their very literal ideas of what history and started by simply asking questions. Some responded to that question by saying, "History is a record of past events." The ones who had just come from their AP World History class were very excited to know the 'answer.' I simply said, "Oh, great. Who records it?" Throughout the week I then explained bias in news reporting (which aligned nicely with my journalism class), the process of hero-making, how sometimes imagination fills in the blanks when history must be recorded, and how sometimes the truth just doesn't align with what is understood as 'important' content to learn, so writers of history leave it out. We thought about what this means for us as learners and citizens, as people with a natural curiosity about life and students of society. I have, in some cases been blown away by responses that bring together the many different ideas we have discussed when prompted with a new question. These kids are using learned knowledge to gain perspective on a new idea. Those are the Truth seekers. Those are the independent learners who will succeed in my class. I have been a bit disappointed by those who are concerned with being "right" and realize that this is a habit I must help them unlearn while in my class. I have also experienced the tragedy that is socio-economic division in my school. Certain students are in my class, an upper level Honors class, because their parents feel that they are smart enough, some parents simply don't want their children in a classroom as diverse as (somehow) our regular level classes tend to be; by diverse I mean primarily black and Hispanic. I am now torn with students who are not at all equipped to be in my class (i.e. a student who said, "Ms. C, what is bias?" and another who mispronounced the word "politic" and didn't understand it) with the students who are rising to the occasion. I had a very concerned student see me after school to inform me that his schedule was going to be changed and he feared that he would not be able to take my class...he told me that "he didn't want to lose this class."
My Dilemma: lowering the lessons and reading material to a level so that the kids who don't belong in my class can understand would mean doing the children who can thrive and grow in a setting such as my class a disservice. Because my class is one that students make a choice to be in, this is not an option for me. So I am left with the knowledge that those kids will not be able to grasp (not because they are stupid, simply because their brains are not yet ready for the material we are covering) the very important concepts and questions I am asking them all to consider, thereby, doing a disservice to them as well.
I suppose a lesson will be learned by both parent and student. It is a shame that a student who could succeed in a regular-level education class must suffer because his/her parents refuse to believe that s/he should not be in a regular class for, as I see it, a variety of unjustifiable reasons. You see, at my school, kids can be waivered into upper level classed by parents, no test needed. My school is funded by the wealthy community members and must appease parents by allowing behavior such as this.
I have spent my weekend reading a book that my students are reading chapters from for homework called Lies My Teacher Told Me. This book offers many hot thinking points by making truths out of the misconceptions found in most high school history texts. I have learned a lot by reading the chapters and I hope my students firstly, did their homework and secondly, will be able to discuss these chapters through the eyes of mature readers and thinkers. I am asking a lot out of them. Hopefully they will continue to surprise me.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Ch-ch-ch-Changes
Sounds of summer have faded and been replaced with the familiar ringing of bells and the giggles generated by girl/boy glances. I am tired, my ankles and feet have swollen, and by the end of the day I desire yoga pants and silence. It is very, very difficult to get back into the swing of things yet at the same time it is very stimulating. I have felt refreshed being able to discuss ideas again and hear the kids get excited about what I am offering up to them.
This year I am teaching five sections of 10th Grade Honors and my darling little Journalism class. Journalism has been a thorn in my side as I try to figure out different ways to teach a class that I have never taken. So far so good. I know the kids well, the staff is dynamite, and they all have the ability to learn...they just have to get ready to learn. I will be teaching many different aspects of journalism (um, like every little aspect: news writing, writing leads, how to be a journalist, where to find news, what is news, layout, InDesign, Photoshop, advertising, business managing, mass media, role as a journalist, etc. etc. etc.) in one month. Students generally take a year long class before becoming a member of the staff. It is stressful and I have big expectations for this year. The kids, even the ones who have been here a long time know very little. When asked what AP Style was (answer: Associated Press) one of my kids from last year said, "authoritative princess! YOU, Ms. Cook!" Very cute, but very wrong. I then expelled the air from my lungs and collapsed on my desk pretending to be killed by their lack of knowledge. Ho, hum...we have a long road to ho.
My 10th grade classes are in for a lot of fun. I am not teaching in a traditional manner this year. We will be using memoir as a framework for teaching/learning writing, students will be working on creating portfolios rather than writing single papers, and I will be running my classroom in a way that is similar to that of a studio (think painter or architect studio). I am using many ideas from Kirby and Kirby's new book New Directions in Teaching Memoir: A studio workshop approach. Great stuff in there. It is actually working so far too. I am pretty excited. The ideas we will be covering (What is history? What is civilization? What is culture? What is government?) are big and great. I am having fun coming up with different ways to present the ideas that are simultaneously being taught to my students by their AP World History classes as very literal, simple ideas. I am blowing their minds so far talking about bias in history and the connection between history and memory. I want them to be Truth seekers and skeptics...not jerks who say, "I don't believe you!!!" but I want them to ask questions. It is working...it is fun. They will be writing a memoir this semester and keeping writing notebooks in class. We are currently tying information regarding the creation of History (World, American, etc.) to personal history (i.e. their individual memoirs).
I am sponsoring my school's gay/straight alliance as well. I am a bit overwhelmed, but I feel like I am really making a difference already and it is only the third day. I feel like I am being the type of teacher that I want to be. I am teaching material that matters and is relevant. I am teaching life skills (being reflective, thoughtful, curious, human beings who know how to seek out information independently an represent themselves accurately through writing) that matter. I feel good. I feel tired, but I feel good.
Answers to my lingering questions have unleashed themselves upon my life as well. Grad school it is! I need to make time to study for GRE and research some schools. I am seeking a MA first and then I have lofty goals in place for getting a PhD and changing the world. It feels good to do it. To do something that matters. I like where I am in my life. I like what I am doing.
I had the thought yesterday that I should use this blog to collect data from my classes. I hope to be studying American Studies and looking deeper into the nuances of race relations in our country. I think looking at my classroom as a reflection of the surrounding community would be a good place to start. Inequalities anyone?
I have a new house and my cat is home and I have renter's insurance...just in case another twister takes me down.
This year I predict a lot of growth for me and my students. I want it to be great. I really, really do.
This year I am teaching five sections of 10th Grade Honors and my darling little Journalism class. Journalism has been a thorn in my side as I try to figure out different ways to teach a class that I have never taken. So far so good. I know the kids well, the staff is dynamite, and they all have the ability to learn...they just have to get ready to learn. I will be teaching many different aspects of journalism (um, like every little aspect: news writing, writing leads, how to be a journalist, where to find news, what is news, layout, InDesign, Photoshop, advertising, business managing, mass media, role as a journalist, etc. etc. etc.) in one month. Students generally take a year long class before becoming a member of the staff. It is stressful and I have big expectations for this year. The kids, even the ones who have been here a long time know very little. When asked what AP Style was (answer: Associated Press) one of my kids from last year said, "authoritative princess! YOU, Ms. Cook!" Very cute, but very wrong. I then expelled the air from my lungs and collapsed on my desk pretending to be killed by their lack of knowledge. Ho, hum...we have a long road to ho.
My 10th grade classes are in for a lot of fun. I am not teaching in a traditional manner this year. We will be using memoir as a framework for teaching/learning writing, students will be working on creating portfolios rather than writing single papers, and I will be running my classroom in a way that is similar to that of a studio (think painter or architect studio). I am using many ideas from Kirby and Kirby's new book New Directions in Teaching Memoir: A studio workshop approach. Great stuff in there. It is actually working so far too. I am pretty excited. The ideas we will be covering (What is history? What is civilization? What is culture? What is government?) are big and great. I am having fun coming up with different ways to present the ideas that are simultaneously being taught to my students by their AP World History classes as very literal, simple ideas. I am blowing their minds so far talking about bias in history and the connection between history and memory. I want them to be Truth seekers and skeptics...not jerks who say, "I don't believe you!!!" but I want them to ask questions. It is working...it is fun. They will be writing a memoir this semester and keeping writing notebooks in class. We are currently tying information regarding the creation of History (World, American, etc.) to personal history (i.e. their individual memoirs).
I am sponsoring my school's gay/straight alliance as well. I am a bit overwhelmed, but I feel like I am really making a difference already and it is only the third day. I feel like I am being the type of teacher that I want to be. I am teaching material that matters and is relevant. I am teaching life skills (being reflective, thoughtful, curious, human beings who know how to seek out information independently an represent themselves accurately through writing) that matter. I feel good. I feel tired, but I feel good.
Answers to my lingering questions have unleashed themselves upon my life as well. Grad school it is! I need to make time to study for GRE and research some schools. I am seeking a MA first and then I have lofty goals in place for getting a PhD and changing the world. It feels good to do it. To do something that matters. I like where I am in my life. I like what I am doing.
I had the thought yesterday that I should use this blog to collect data from my classes. I hope to be studying American Studies and looking deeper into the nuances of race relations in our country. I think looking at my classroom as a reflection of the surrounding community would be a good place to start. Inequalities anyone?
I have a new house and my cat is home and I have renter's insurance...just in case another twister takes me down.
This year I predict a lot of growth for me and my students. I want it to be great. I really, really do.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Reaping what I sow
Honor Code Violations at my school are the worst possible offence that a good, dedicated student could get. As you probably inferred, an HCV is given to those who cheat. This HCV will be recorded on said person's college transcript and it is up to the teacher whether offender is able to resubmit the assignment. I was a virgin to the HCV until a month ago when a sweet little girl in my honors class plagiarised on her biggest assignment of the year: the research paper that we had been working on for three months. She plead ignorance, I claimed that I had taught her the skills needed in order to avoid being ignorant; a small difference of opinion. Either way, I won, she cried, her mother's forehead became wrinkled with "This will ruin her future" thoughts and I ended up letting her resubmit. Don't let my constant jesting tone lessen the intensity of this situation...it is, for justifiable reasons, very serious. It was difficult for me to do (especially when a 16 year old kid is boo-hooing all in my face) and I was very unsure of myself.
All that is to say that sometimes when teaching gets really hard (because it will...often) and you think you are really meant to be hiking through the Swiss Alps or picketing your way through the Southeast, a certain thing will happen that reminds you that teaching doesn't suck. Sometimes, and very rarely, it makes you cry happy tears (if you are the crying type of course) and helps you realize that you did something here, today, and you aren't still standing around waiting for life to happen. This little girl's mother did that for me. The following email was sent from her mom in response to an email where I expressed happiness that her daughter decided to turn this misfortune into a learning opportunity.
Hello C,
Thank you so very much for the kind note. I want to thank you also for your courage in this situation as I know that it could not have been easy for you. I truly do believe that you did the right thing by bringing up an issue that could have potentially lead to greater failures for Eve* in the future. This issue really extends beyond just the paper, but encompasses Eve's need to take responsibility for her success, as a student and individual. Life's lessons come in many different packages and it was a good one that came at the right time.
You have taught me something as well this year. First, although as parents we always want to "fix things" for our children--they actually are capable of dealing with some things and the consequences themselves. Had Eve not dealt with this situation, I do believe she would not have learned the valuable lessons as a result. Second, perhaps, our expectations (as parents) need to be calibrated so that we truly understand the plight of our children. For the first time, in many years, Eve shared with me the amount of pressure she has been under to "achieve" and that she has felt lost and under-prepared for longer than I (or anyone else for that matter ) knew.
So you see, some things happen for a reason. It's been a tough year for Eve (and us!) but I think she is stronger and better for it. Know that you have contributed to the development of a better and stronger person who will , hopefully, move forward in the direction we all wish.
I hope you enjoyed your first year as a high school teacher and hope to see you in the fall.
Have a fantastic summer!
Kindly and all the best,
Evelyn*
Wow, huh?
Teachers don't become teachers for a pat on the back, we don't do it for a stress free lifestyle, and we damn sure don't keep coming back because the county sees to it we all have lofty bank accounts. I guess teachers, the ones who suck it up and stick it out for a long time, are really just suckers for the reality that weaves our lives and the lives of others into our work. The golden thread of humanity, people, and their stories ties us to our commitments when we feel like fleeing the most.
Work as an educator isn't just work or a job with the summers off, it's life that never stops and a reality that is hard to face, that at times, can fill me up with tight-chested thoughts and leave me spinning towards the days end with thoughts of my student's home lives, hardships, and the injustices that they unknowingly face. Now that it is all said and done, I think I have learned to appreciate the realness of this work environment and the way it leaves us all vulnerable to one another. No veneers of "professionalism" from the students or the parents...they are sad so they cry, they are happy so they do a silly dance, and when they are pissed off I hear them loud and clear. I have never functioned in a place like this before. The idea that I am doing something for other people and deserve a letter of thanks like that still seems a bit foreign to me, but I dig it and it makes me feel like I have at least done one thing this semester that didn't screw somebody up.
All that is to say that sometimes when teaching gets really hard (because it will...often) and you think you are really meant to be hiking through the Swiss Alps or picketing your way through the Southeast, a certain thing will happen that reminds you that teaching doesn't suck. Sometimes, and very rarely, it makes you cry happy tears (if you are the crying type of course) and helps you realize that you did something here, today, and you aren't still standing around waiting for life to happen. This little girl's mother did that for me. The following email was sent from her mom in response to an email where I expressed happiness that her daughter decided to turn this misfortune into a learning opportunity.
Hello C,
Thank you so very much for the kind note. I want to thank you also for your courage in this situation as I know that it could not have been easy for you. I truly do believe that you did the right thing by bringing up an issue that could have potentially lead to greater failures for Eve* in the future. This issue really extends beyond just the paper, but encompasses Eve's need to take responsibility for her success, as a student and individual. Life's lessons come in many different packages and it was a good one that came at the right time.
You have taught me something as well this year. First, although as parents we always want to "fix things" for our children--they actually are capable of dealing with some things and the consequences themselves. Had Eve not dealt with this situation, I do believe she would not have learned the valuable lessons as a result. Second, perhaps, our expectations (as parents) need to be calibrated so that we truly understand the plight of our children. For the first time, in many years, Eve shared with me the amount of pressure she has been under to "achieve" and that she has felt lost and under-prepared for longer than I (or anyone else for that matter ) knew.
So you see, some things happen for a reason. It's been a tough year for Eve (and us!) but I think she is stronger and better for it. Know that you have contributed to the development of a better and stronger person who will , hopefully, move forward in the direction we all wish.
I hope you enjoyed your first year as a high school teacher and hope to see you in the fall.
Have a fantastic summer!
Kindly and all the best,
Evelyn*
Wow, huh?
Teachers don't become teachers for a pat on the back, we don't do it for a stress free lifestyle, and we damn sure don't keep coming back because the county sees to it we all have lofty bank accounts. I guess teachers, the ones who suck it up and stick it out for a long time, are really just suckers for the reality that weaves our lives and the lives of others into our work. The golden thread of humanity, people, and their stories ties us to our commitments when we feel like fleeing the most.
Work as an educator isn't just work or a job with the summers off, it's life that never stops and a reality that is hard to face, that at times, can fill me up with tight-chested thoughts and leave me spinning towards the days end with thoughts of my student's home lives, hardships, and the injustices that they unknowingly face. Now that it is all said and done, I think I have learned to appreciate the realness of this work environment and the way it leaves us all vulnerable to one another. No veneers of "professionalism" from the students or the parents...they are sad so they cry, they are happy so they do a silly dance, and when they are pissed off I hear them loud and clear. I have never functioned in a place like this before. The idea that I am doing something for other people and deserve a letter of thanks like that still seems a bit foreign to me, but I dig it and it makes me feel like I have at least done one thing this semester that didn't screw somebody up.
Basically, I guess the wonderful things about teaching (which are few and far between) keep us here...for at least another year.
*Student and mother's names have been changed to protect privacy.
Monday, May 19, 2008
"Dulce Et Decorum Est"
As I move forcefully into the finality of my first year as a teacher I am trying to find time for reflection. There are moments that my gaze will catch a particular grease stain on my bulletin board and I begin fantasizing of my summer yet to come, the half-finished books that I will conquer, the yoga that I will master, and, most importantly, the kids that I will not be responsible for.
This year has most definitely been filled with the most unpleasant of events. My advice to any new teacher is to make sure you try your damnedest to have your life looking as nice as the most meticulously manicured lawn.
The urban twister took me by surprise, losing my most significant kitty companion has left me lonely, being in one living situation after the next has made me feel even less grounded than usual, and the occasional bandits that somehow weaseled their ways into my life made out with years of soiled memories and pieces of me left me heart-broken and disenchanted with the goodness my daddy so often told me about. I bid them farewell and my foundations farewell with the all the grace I could muster, I cried on the way to work listening to political pipe dreams on NPR, and somehow...somehow...dried my tears, mustered my courage, and faced those hooligans, their unforgiving and impossible to satisfy parents, and my administrators who were all too busy to observe my teaching, but never to busy for the occasional, "Why, shouldn't you be wearing a nicer pair of slacks?"
No contest: the most difficult thing about teaching is getting yourself in order.
Even the most organized of professionals can't find enough hanging files and color coded stickers to keep the mess out of his/her life. I guess you just have to fight it and keep going. What else would you do? Give up.
I felt enough like a Baptist preacher telling kids that each test was important and that research skills would get all of them far in life, knowing damn well that most would only need to research the nearest pizza delivery spot. There's no way I could have begged them not to give up and quit myself.
As much as they weighed my heart my down, at times, they were the only thing that kept me going. God, or whoever wants people to make life easier on the rest of us, bless their stinky little hearts.
Friday, May 9, 2008
High School Daze
Summer break starts in two weeks and I have had a revelation:
Teachers Deserve a Summer Break!
There are many people in the world who, sitting behind their cherry oak desks, sipping on their grande non-fat latte's, gripe about how easy teacher's have it because we get the summer's off. I invite these people into my classroom for a day...if they could take it. My students would eat your up and barf you out, then throw you at thier friends and laugh. So, instead of going nuts on anyone in a 10 foot radius because I am forced to teach 12 months out of the year, I am going to visit my best friend in Austin, TX. One way ticket! Maybe I'll fall in love with the town, listen to some banjos, see bats in their natural habitat, road trip, swim in spring-fed pools, jump off rocks, and get back to my mother. I need a break from snot, saggy pants, kid's dumb senses of humor, people saying my name on repeat, peole needing me so much, being disappointed, wanting more money, waking up insanely early, wishing for more effort, raising my voice, grading papers, faculty meetings, awkward work events, "dressing up," talking to parents, making sacrifices to stubborn copy machines, counseling colleagues, dealing with the politics, and basically just working harder than I ever have in my entire life. I deserve it damn it.
My brain has been working in spurts (ahhhh, sprinklers! Summer! Bliss!) so I will share recent events in a like manner.
This week is Teacher Appreciation Week which means nothing except we get cupcakes after school and corny poems that the PTA comes up with. It's real cute.
I must be a badass teacher lady though because this week I got two $50 tickets to a Braves game from a student, homemade brownies sans laxative, a really kind thank you card, and a plant for my room. Pretty cool. I also only worked three days, one of which being casual Fridays which aren't real work days. If I could wear jeans every day I would never feel like I was really working! Ha.
Yesterday I had an interview with a Peace Corps recruiter. While the Peace Corps is an option I am always reminded that there are more. I probably won't be able to travel to South America with the Peace Corps, which is what I would like to to first. I did catch wind of a job/volunteer opportunity for next year in Honduras and a huge part of me wants to do it. There is also a summer camp. I think that the best option for me is to stay here one year and make money, save it all, then begin my voyage be it with Peace Corps or at an International School.
At the Peace Corps office there was a picture of George W. on the wall, it gave me the creeps and I wanted to leave. I know that if/when I do Peace Corps it'll be Obama or Hillz on the wall, which will make my uneasiness slip away.
Oh oh, oh! I got my first rumor today! Apparently I am the first pregnant lesbian teacher at my high school. Not saying a pregnant lesbian is impossible (I am no moron), but I would like to point out that high schoolers are even sloppy with their rumors.
Five full days to go then vamos!
Teachers Deserve a Summer Break!
There are many people in the world who, sitting behind their cherry oak desks, sipping on their grande non-fat latte's, gripe about how easy teacher's have it because we get the summer's off. I invite these people into my classroom for a day...if they could take it. My students would eat your up and barf you out, then throw you at thier friends and laugh. So, instead of going nuts on anyone in a 10 foot radius because I am forced to teach 12 months out of the year, I am going to visit my best friend in Austin, TX. One way ticket! Maybe I'll fall in love with the town, listen to some banjos, see bats in their natural habitat, road trip, swim in spring-fed pools, jump off rocks, and get back to my mother. I need a break from snot, saggy pants, kid's dumb senses of humor, people saying my name on repeat, peole needing me so much, being disappointed, wanting more money, waking up insanely early, wishing for more effort, raising my voice, grading papers, faculty meetings, awkward work events, "dressing up," talking to parents, making sacrifices to stubborn copy machines, counseling colleagues, dealing with the politics, and basically just working harder than I ever have in my entire life. I deserve it damn it.
My brain has been working in spurts (ahhhh, sprinklers! Summer! Bliss!) so I will share recent events in a like manner.
This week is Teacher Appreciation Week which means nothing except we get cupcakes after school and corny poems that the PTA comes up with. It's real cute.
I must be a badass teacher lady though because this week I got two $50 tickets to a Braves game from a student, homemade brownies sans laxative, a really kind thank you card, and a plant for my room. Pretty cool. I also only worked three days, one of which being casual Fridays which aren't real work days. If I could wear jeans every day I would never feel like I was really working! Ha.
Yesterday I had an interview with a Peace Corps recruiter. While the Peace Corps is an option I am always reminded that there are more. I probably won't be able to travel to South America with the Peace Corps, which is what I would like to to first. I did catch wind of a job/volunteer opportunity for next year in Honduras and a huge part of me wants to do it. There is also a summer camp. I think that the best option for me is to stay here one year and make money, save it all, then begin my voyage be it with Peace Corps or at an International School.
At the Peace Corps office there was a picture of George W. on the wall, it gave me the creeps and I wanted to leave. I know that if/when I do Peace Corps it'll be Obama or Hillz on the wall, which will make my uneasiness slip away.
Oh oh, oh! I got my first rumor today! Apparently I am the first pregnant lesbian teacher at my high school. Not saying a pregnant lesbian is impossible (I am no moron), but I would like to point out that high schoolers are even sloppy with their rumors.
Five full days to go then vamos!
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