High Hopes

My life is now full of skepticism riding on the shoulders of determination.  

After working towards determining what my next step should be:  Master's degree in African American studies or a Phd. in American Studies, I have decided that both should be pretty great.  This year I will be putting a great amount of money aside, the first little chunk will go towards applying to at least 6 grad schools (mostly in the Boston and NY areas); both MA and PhD programs with the hopes of getting accepted to ALL of them and getting to pick!  Weeee!  Reality:  probably not, but I am going to bust my ass, sorry Mom, trying to get ready.

I am dedicating the next two weeks to writing a research paper, because the ones I drafted in undergrad don't seem to be quite right for grad school applications.  I am very interested in the following things:

 

Race relations; primarily between black and white Americans

the way history influences self-perception and identity regarding race and gender

affects of segregation/integration in public school setting on race identity

presentations of african americans in literature at the turn of the century

There are more, but I am trying to stay focused right now.  It is real hard to come up with a specific topic for research when I am so conditioned into getting the assignment.  It seems that I am suffering from exactly what I complain that my students are suffering from.  The difference is I have too many exciting ideas and they have an overwhelming apathy towards all forms of research and study.  

Someone help me find a focus!!!  Until then I am going to read and read until my mind explodes with more and more possible ideas.  

Here are ideas in my head:

Integration:  The "us" and "thems" in public education

Racial mistrust

Idea of color blindness:  

For blacks and whites to live comfortably with one another in the US do we have to avoid and forget that we are black and white? If we do this then what are the personal and social implications for our identity as human beings and our individual cultures?

Is color blindness synonymous with the erasing history when without understanding this history we are all lost children.  

"Acting White:" Self-fulfilled prophecies in African American youth; the ways in which society, culture, and a tradition of community support the idea that doing well in school is somehow synonymous with acting white.